Many know Shonda Rhimes as the creator of hit TV shows that include Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, and How to Get Away With Murder. She is also the architect of her own production company, Shondaland that is responsible for nearly 70 incredible hours of prime-time television a season.
It is often difficult to relate with or consider a celebrity as a “real” person, much less accept their advice on success. However, Rhimes’ TED Talk from TED Dream in Vancouver this past February, truly touched me because it directly addressed something we all feel at times – burnout.
The 46-year-old Rhimes, challenged herself to a year of saying yes to everything. I was skeptical at first because it seems impossible, but stay with me. In her TED Talk, she explained that during this year, she forced herself to face monumental fears such as public speaking, live TV interviews, and even acting. In saying yes to these difficult and scary tasks, she “undid” the fear. But it wasn’t until one question – and one “yes” – that really pulled her life into clear focus.
The Hum
As a mother of three children and creator, writer and source of genius for a significant number of hit television shows, Rhimes clearly has a passion for her work. She calls the feeling she gets while working, “the hum,” and she lives for it. “I am the hum,” she said. So when the hum stopped for Rhimes and her work started to taste bitter, she felt lost, overworked, burned out, and with no sense of purpose.
It wasn’t until one day when one of her daughters asked her to play did Rhimes slowly start hearing a hum again – and not the hum, a hum – and it felt good. Although it was not the same work hum that had filled her with passion before, it was a hum she had missed, the feeling of living for a passion that was greater than her work. Where before she would have rather been at work than home, this new hum brought a fresh love and passion back into her life, with family as the priority. She began to dedicate 15 minutes every day to focus on this new hum and in doing so, she discovered she didn’t need the old hum to survive. It did not define her anymore. She became this new kind of hum—an embodiment of the joy and passion she felt outside of her work playing with her children once again.
So how can we find our hum?
Confronting stress and the feeling of impending or inevitable burnout is terrifying, regardless of age or occupation. When you get to a point in your career, relationship, or life where you must ask, “Who am I?” it can bring unfamiliar emotions and change the way you once viewed what you love. So how can we –employees, business owners, heads of the household, managers and supervisors – find our hum?
Do what Shonda Rhimes did.
Despite our levels of success or accomplishment, we are human and are likely to suffer from stress. Take 15 minutes to pay attention to yourself. Read, go on a walk, take a nap, play with your kids, draw a picture, knit. Put down your phone and dedicate 15 minutes to finding your life hum. In doing so, slowly but surely, you will create a new passion for yourself, outside of the work that once ran you. You will find that saying yes can be daunting; especially saying yes to 15 minutes of what scares you, like saying no to work. Like Rhimes, you may hear more than one hum, but deciding which hum runs your life is where the real challenge lies.