Good self-confidence is something that no one is naturally born with and is something most of us are consistently working to build. Many people, especially those who identify as women, struggle with confidence early in their careers. This often results in a lack of women who self-promote, especially compared to men.
Our sense of self-confidence begins forming before we’re even aware of it and is taught and learned over time, the same as anything else. From an incredibly young age, we begin to formulate the ideas we have about our capabilities, knowledge, self-worth, and even looks, through the actions of those around us and the society in which we live.
A lack of self-confidence can be the result of several factors, such as the messages received during early childhood about one’s worth, a lack of representation in the media or at your company, previous life experiences or other causes.
However, it is absolutely never too late to begin building up some genuine self-confidence. If you or someone you know is dealing with self-doubt in the workplace, below are eight tips to practice and build your confidence at work.
1. Understand Yourself
Understanding and connecting with yourself is the first step to building confidence both inside and outside of the workplace. Understanding your strengths, expertise, passions, and talents is essential to forming a foundation of self-confidence. Think about your family dynamics, where/how you grew up, your ethnicity, education, relationships, work experience, hobbies, personality, wins, losses, etc., to understand how each of these factors have taught and shaped you into the person you are today. You can rest assured knowing that you are an expert in your life and have unique lived experiences of depth, to which only you can speak. Knowing this can help you understand and trust yourself more deeply when expressing your opinion or ideas.
2. Shift Your Mindset and Behaviors
Now that we’re older, we can better understand where our feelings are coming from, how they got there, and what we can do to change them. As conscious beings, we have the capability to stop negative thoughts and behaviors in their tracks and redirect them to more positive thoughts and actions. A doubtful mindset can often present itself at work when you want to express your opinion, but begin with a qualifier statement such as, “I’m not sure but…” or “This may not make sense but… .” These kinds of statements show a lack of trust in your own expertise, so how can you expect your coworkers to consider your statement if you don’t seem to like it yourself? To allow yourself space for acceptance rather than writing yourself off, try beginning your statement with, “Perhaps an option might be…” or “I’d like to add to that thought… .” Remember, confidence begins internally.
3. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
The best way to meet a challenge is to face it head on. In many situations, it is a refusal to leave the comfort of one’s space that prevents them from growing as an individual. Think of someone who is used to sitting alone in the corner, quiet and uninvolved. That space may be comfortable for the individual but doesn’t take advantage of the opportunity to build relationships, involve oneself in business decisions, insert one’s opinions and more. Leaving the quiet cozy corner and entering the heart of your organization can be daunting and uncomfortable at first but is bound to help you feel seen and heard if that is what you truly desire.
4. Focus on Your Strengths
Everyone has strengths, and everyone has weaknesses. None are greater than the other, and each of our talents and downfalls helps balance the world and the workforce. Sometimes, comparing ourselves to others has an impact on our self-confidence. When we see other people who are great at what they do, it often makes us wish we were more like them, but it is important to remember that we cannot all be great at everything, and that is perfectly fine. What is important is to know and remember where our individual strengths do lie. Once we pinpoint those factors, we can then nurture and feed those strengths rather than wishing we had someone else’s.
5. Learn from Your Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are not failures, and it is important to understand this first and foremost. It is easy to get frustrated with ourselves when we slipup and to even call ourselves disparaging or critical names. And it is difficult, yet essential, to catch ourselves in those moments, rethink what we’ve said, and decide then and there whether we will berate ourselves or cut ourselves some slack and remember we’re only human. One wall that often keeps individuals from developing true self-confidence is a harshness on oneself that does not allow grace for mistakes or other mishaps. Mistakes are a learning opportunity, and while making them can often leave us with a less than desirable feeling, it is important for them to occur. We often cannot learn otherwise. Don’t be hard on yourself for making mistakes and be glad that an issue presented itself that you’ve now had the opportunity to learn from so you can better handle the situation next time.
6. Develop or Learn New Skills
If you’re feeling insecure about your capabilities, there is always the option to learn more. Keep yourself sharp and on your toes by continuing to develop your skills and learning new ones. No human will ever know all there is to know, which means we have infinite room to grow, and that’s a great thing! If you’re not feeling fully confident with where your skills are now, or you’d like to strengthen the confidence you already do have, challenging yourself to learn more about your expertise or develop a new skill is a great idea. These days, there is knowledge all around us – it just takes time and effort to collect and put that knowledge to use.
7. Practice Makes Progress
Don’t be afraid to meet yourself where you are. It is perfectly alright to start small by practicing confident behaviors such as eye contact and body language in the mirror or with a friend. This method can also be helpful when practicing confident language skills, such as speaking loudly, clearly and captively. Additionally, don’t be afraid to “fake it ‘til you make it” during your process of self-confidence work. Wearing a positive mindset and acting confidently can actually work wonders. Not only will your teammates feel confident about you when you seem confident about yourself and your capabilities, but you’ll soon realize that you genuinely are a capable person with many skills to offer. After all, you are what you think.
8. Have Patience
Changes like these do not happen overnight. It takes time and consistent effort to shift one’s behaviors and mindset from a place that may have been subconscious for years, or even decades, beforehand, specifically if these were years filled with negative reinforcement. Building confident behaviors takes practice and determination. You must also remember that there are various ways to go about the confidence journey, so some trial and error may be needed when you’re getting started. Over time, with patience and consistent effort, these confident behaviors will become second nature. Be patient and kind with yourself, understanding that self-betterment is something that will take time and relearning.
Building your confidence will take time and constant action toward the place you’d truly like to be as an individual. It is vital to have confidence at work, whether you’re speaking your opinion, asking a question or pitching an idea. Remember to have patience with and to affirm yourself! You and your mindset are the only things standing in your way on your journey to greatness. Your confidence starts with you.
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